Gift ideas
Long distance relationship gifts
When you can't be there, the gift has to do some of the being-there for you. These are the ideas that work hardest across the miles, and how to get them there in one piece.
Short answer
The best long distance relationship gifts show up in their everyday life while you’re apart: a mixtape CD of your shared playlist they can play in the car, open-when letters for hard days, one half of a matching pair, or a care package from your town. Choose things that ship flat and light.
Long distance relationship gifts have a job most presents don’t: they have to stand in for you on an ordinary Tuesday. The ones that work get used daily, carry your voice or handwriting, and survive the post. Here’s what we’d send.
What are open-when letters?
Open-when letters are a stack of sealed letters, each envelope labeled with when to open it: when you miss me, when you can’t sleep, when you’ve had a bad day. Add when you get good news and the night before I visit; eight to twelve is a good number.
Keep each one short and specific. A memory, a photo, a reason you love them, or a song to play while they read it. If you write the track numbers from your mixtape on the envelopes (“open when you need cheering up, then play track 7”), the letters and the CD work together.
What are good matching gifts for a long distance relationship?
Good matching gifts for a long distance relationship include matching bracelets or keyrings, the same book to read a chapter a week, and paired touch lamps. Paired gifts give you each something the other is holding at the same time:
- Matching bracelets, rings or keyrings, or a pendant split into two halves.
- The same book, so you can read a chapter a week and talk about it on calls.
- The same candle or scent, so your rooms smell alike.
- Paired “touch” lamps that light up the other one’s lamp over Wi-Fi when you tap yours.
- A worn T-shirt or hoodie of yours. Nothing you can buy beats it.
What long distance gifts ship well?
Long distance gifts that ship well are flat and light: letters, photos, prints and a CD in a paper sleeve all fit in a padded envelope. Some general rules:
- Flat and light costs less. Letters, photos, prints and a CD in a paper sleeve fit in a padded envelope. A jewel case, candles or anything glass needs a small box with padding.
- Skip anything that melts, leaks or spoils unless you know how long it will be in transit.
- Sending abroad? You’ll need a customs form, and some items are restricted. Check the carrier’s rules for the destination country before you buy, not after.
- Have it weighed. Postage depends on size and weight, so take it to the counter rather than guessing.
What are good deployment gifts?
Good deployment gifts are small and light: letters, printed photos, favorite snacks and music they can play on whatever they’ll have. They follow the same idea with tighter limits. Space is short, power can be unreliable, and mail to APO, FPO and DPO addresses has its own rules. Check the current USPS guidance for military mail before you pack.
Letters and printed photos are almost always welcome. For music, ask whether they’ll have a laptop with a disc drive, a portable CD player or a vehicle stereo before you send a CD. Favorite snacks from home, a small pillowcase that smells like home, and a calendar with the return date circled all travel light.
What is a good going away gift?
A good going away gift is a long distance gift given at the start, like a mix CD for the drive to the new place or a framed photo of everyone they’re leaving. For a friend moving cities, a partner heading to college, or someone starting a posting far away:
- A mix CD for the drive to the new place, timed to the trip. A long one suits the five-disc set; our road trip songs list shows how to sequence it.
- A framed photo of everyone they’re leaving, signed on the back.
- A map of the old neighborhood with your favorite places marked.
- A date for the first visit, written down, with the tickets if you can.
For a best friend moving away, our songs for your best friend list is a good start, and our guide to sentimental gifts for your boyfriend has more ideas built around shared memories.
Questions people ask
What is a good gift for a long distance relationship?
A good long distance relationship gift is something they use on the days you're apart: a mixtape CD of your shared playlist for the car, a stack of open-when letters, one half of a matching pair, or a care package from your town. Light, flat gifts are also cheaper and safer to post.
What are open-when letters?
Open-when letters are a set of sealed letters, each labeled for a moment: open when you miss me, open when you can't sleep, open when you've had a bad day. They let one gift keep working for weeks or months.
What are good deployment gifts?
Good deployment gifts are small, light things that don't need much space or power: letters, printed photos, favorite snacks, and music they can play on whatever they'll have. Check the current USPS rules for APO, FPO and DPO mail before you pack, and ask what they can actually use.
What is a good going away gift?
A good going away gift is something for the move itself: a mix CD for the drive to the new place, a framed photo of the group, or a map of the town they're leaving with your favorite spots marked. A note with a date for the first visit helps too.
Can you mail a CD in an envelope?
A CD in a paper sleeve travels well in a padded or rigid mailer. A jewel case can crack in a plain envelope, so send it in a padded mailer or small box. Have the post office weigh it, since size and thickness change the postage.
What songs should go on a long distance playlist?
A long distance playlist should hold songs you've shared on calls, songs from your last visit, and a few about distance and coming home. Alternate picks between you so it sounds like both of you, and keep it to about 18 to 22 songs if it's going on one CD.